Reflections : Sehaj Kaur
Sarbat was something I heard about while I was passing through the United Kingdom in Spring of 2022. When I saw there was a Sangat that centered around LGBTQ+ realities, I almost didn't believe it was possible. This reality of possibility became clearer to me during the weekend of April 6, 2024 for the Vaisakhi Celebration in Trafalgar Square, meeting the beautiful souls of Sarbat interlaced with the rest of the Sikh community of UK, was a joy that set my heart into a beautiful vision by Guru Kripa.
My journey with Sikhi began when I was a teenager in the Southeast of the United States. I was introduced to the bani of Guru Nanak Dev Ji through the Mool Mantra. At age 17, my brother and a small group of friends, started reciting the Mool Mantra together. Through these experiences, my soul was brought closer to Sat Guru, and thus by began my journey with searching for the Timeless One.
It was only 9 years later that I started reading Guru Granth Sahib Ji, as introduced to me by a Sikhi Uncle who I met while moving through the city of Lisbon. My journey took off listening to the prayers through an app that Baba Ji downloaded onto my phone. At night I would fall asleep listening to Nitnem and falling deeper into love and grace with Waheguru Ji.
At this time, my gender expression became something of an irrelevance. I felt so held by Baba Ji, and accepted through love and kindness. We would just sit together while he served samosas and chai in the square of downtown Lisbon, chanting the Gurmantra.
Being transgender and following the Sikhi Panth has been a curious blend of frusrtration and joy, yet meeting the Sarbat members have offered another form of care that has allowed me to see another kind of Sikhi in practice.
The next event of Sarbat was only a week after the Trafalgar Square Celebration. I arrived into Southall from the train, and as I stepped of the train I was met with a warm smile on the platform by another trans Sikh, and after asking if I can hold his hand, we walked hand in hand together through the crowd towards the exit. I was in pure bliss. My heart met the Sat Sangat I was praying for.
My whole heart was radiating with love when we finally reached the Darbar and we were in the presence of the Siri Guru Granth Sahib, and waiting together to bow before the Guru ji, being encouraged to sit wherever we felt the most comfortable, tears were streaming down my face as I felt the presence of Waheguru. I was imagining what could be possible if more Queer Sikhs felt comfortable expressing themselves within the community, and what that could look like.
It brought me back to all of the prayers I shared while I sat in the Darbar, hoping that one day I would be in the presence of the Sat Sangat where I was fully embraced in my trans body. This last weekend, Waheguru ji fulfilled this prayer.
Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa
Vaheguru ji ki Fateh!
